Sometimes it's hard to remember that I'm still Sam. You know, just Sam, not "The Mommy". Don't misunderstand me, I love being Ashiah's Mommy! But you rarely seem to hear your name anymore as a parent "okay come to Mommy" ,"go see Mommy", or "how's Mommy today". Same with the Daddy. We've become three new entities, 3 full time roles, The Mommy, The Daddy and The Baby.
What's strange is that people often think that since you've spawned life, you will automatically get along with others who have. "Oh, I simply have to introduce you to so and so, they have a baby too!" I've learned to dread this phrase. Take the most recent meeting. One look at her and I can see that this is going to be terribly painful. Her hair is casually pulled back in what looks like a hemp bandanna, she's wearing sandals and socks, no bra because even though she's breastfeeding, she still has little perky breasts as opposed to my new 20 pound udders. And is that a grass skirt? She has a calmness to her and a smile that makes her look as though she's perpetually high. As my fidgety daughter molests her calm stoic son on the blanket beside us, after several drawn out silences I find out she's lived in India and is working on her Masters in something...I can't recall what, but she's enlightened and I'm happily...not. I suggest a walk so that we have some distraction to conversation. Don't get me wrong, she's very nice and so sweet, but I'm hard pressed to find any common ground between us.
Also, as "The Mommy" one can now apparently take for granted that I am not only an expert but would simply love to converse endlessly about every type of wrap, car seat, stroller, pacifier, bottle, toy, shoe, diaper, etc. made out there. Don't get me wrong, it's good to exchange information sometimes but this is not what defines me.
I personally think that being a parent doesn't make you an expert on children, it makes you an expert on your child.
Greg has kindly explained to me that this new phenomena I'm experiencing is due to the fact that most people define themselves by what they do, their careers. And when they suddenly become Moms and career takes a backseat, they need to redefine themselves and they often do so by becoming expert Moms, carefully researched in every aspect from paraphernalia to child rearing.
Okay I get it now. But just so you know, I'm still Sam, I just happen to be a mommy too.
1 comment:
Oh my god!!! I know someone who blogs too. You have to meet them! You will have so much in common -the ability to converse in the English language, typing, an internet connection and you both use verbs! Maybe you will become life long best friends all because of blogs and the fact that I connected you two.
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