Identity Crisis

Sometimes it's hard to remember that I'm still Sam. You know, just Sam, not "The Mommy". Don't misunderstand me, I love being Ashiah's Mommy! But you rarely seem to hear your name anymore as a parent "okay come to Mommy" ,"go see Mommy", or "how's Mommy today". Same with the Daddy. We've become three new entities, 3 full time roles, The Mommy, The Daddy and The Baby.

What's strange is that people often think that since you've spawned life, you will automatically get along with others who have. "Oh, I simply have to introduce you to so and so, they have a baby too!" I've learned to dread this phrase. Take the most recent meeting. One look at her and I can see that this is going to be terribly painful. Her hair is casually pulled back in what looks like a hemp bandanna, she's wearing sandals and socks, no bra because even though she's breastfeeding, she still has little perky breasts as opposed to my new 20 pound udders. And is that a grass skirt? She has a calmness to her and a smile that makes her look as though she's perpetually high. As my fidgety daughter molests her calm stoic son on the blanket beside us, after several drawn out silences I find out she's lived in India and is working on her Masters in something...I can't recall what, but she's enlightened and I'm happily...not. I suggest a walk so that we have some distraction to conversation. Don't get me wrong, she's very nice and so sweet, but I'm hard pressed to find any common ground between us.

Also, as "The Mommy" one can now apparently take for granted that I am not only an expert but would simply love to converse endlessly about every type of wrap, car seat, stroller, pacifier, bottle, toy, shoe, diaper, etc. made out there. Don't get me wrong, it's good to exchange information sometimes but this is not what defines me.

I personally think that being a parent doesn't make you an expert on children, it makes you an expert on your child.

Greg has kindly explained to me that this new phenomena I'm experiencing is due to the fact that most people define themselves by what they do, their careers. And when they suddenly become Moms and career takes a backseat, they need to redefine themselves and they often do so by becoming expert Moms, carefully researched in every aspect from paraphernalia to child rearing.

Okay I get it now. But just so you know, I'm still Sam, I just happen to be a mommy too.

Love at third pregnancy test

A little history of how we got from being under the Eiffel Tower to having this little munchkin pictured here February 14, 2007 in Sonoma, California.












We were both in startup companies, I was a Director of Sales & Mrktg. for a new local tech newspaper called SCAN (www.nationalcapitalscan.ca) and Greg was, and is the Director of the North American counterpart of a UK-based NGO called BioRegional and heads up "One Planet Communities"in North America. (http://www.bioregional.com/oneplanetcommunities/na)

I was in musical theater when we met on an online dating site (I wasn't interested in a relationship at the time but had a basic profile up to help a friend who was having a hard time joining the site... long story ...) back in Feb'06 and I was deep in rehearsals for West Side Story. Greg was leaving in a week to work in the UK for 3 months so he was very persistent in seeing me often that first week despite my reluctance. He kept me interested with his persistence, amazing life stories and charm and impressed me with a gifted singing voice. We kept in touch frequently during his time away and he invited me to visit him there for a week in April 'o6 which I did. While there he took me to Paris and we began to fall in love (how very cliche I know). When he returned in May, we spent much of the summer traveling and kayaking in Vancouver with the Orcas, camping, kayaking and whale watching in NB and in Tadoussac. (I'm an avid whale lover, Greg an avid kayaker). He introduced me to Ultimate frisbee (his team won the Nationals that year) and I intro'd him to theater. Things were moving along swimmingly.

In September we had THE talk about moving in together and by October we decided to wait awhile yet since there was no rush, all was grand, and I found a dream 1800 sq ft apartment in an old Victorian heritage house and he was happy in his log cabin nestled in the woods. The day after I signed my new lease I realized that Aunt Rose hadn't visited in awhile not to mention I seemed to be suffering from a perpetual leaky faucet. So I took a pregnancy test in my new empty apartment and you can guess the result. 3 tests later I was convinced...

The next few months are a bit of blur. That same week both Greg and I became an Aunt and an Uncle with 2 nephews being born, we found out we were pregnant and my grandmother died. It was crazy. Greg was extremely supportive and I moved in with him a month later to what is now "our" cabin in the woods in Chelsea by the river. It was baptism by fire - living together, moving to the woods, leaving my most beloved pets with a friend (Greg's allergic), giving up our once extremely busy schedule to accommodate nausea, fatigue and household reorganization and dealing with a new grumpy, lethargic and emotionally volatile me. Smashing good fun.

But here we are now, our daughter Ashiah is 7 months old and we are both happier and feel more fulfilled and more proud of this accomplishment in our lives than anything else.

I've now learned that sometimes the path you think you should be on will unexpectedly lead you to one you hadn't considered but was ultimately the right one all along. Who new?

Welcome to life with Iggle Piggle...

...it seems only fitting to begin with an explanation as to who or what Iggle Piggle is. Unless you're a BBC-watching parent or unless you're a frequent flyer like Greg is (aka "the daddy" to our 7 mth old) and you've caught the show on the children's menu on the plane (those new planes with your own personalized TV screen where you can choose from a ridiculously vast menu of options, so vast, that by the time you choose what you want to watch you likely won't have time to finish watching it...but I digress) basically you'd have no clue as to what an "Iggle Piggle" was.

Iggle Piggle happens to be the main character of a children's show called "In the Night Garden" and our 7 month old daughter Ashiah Phoenix (aka Princess Ashiah Phoenix Bird) has been hooked on it since she's 4 months old. How in the world can a 4 month old who's just learned to sit up on her own and who's vocabulary is limited to "mmm" have a favorite show? I don't know. But she does and in our world that's been simply smashing! A whole half hour a day where she's mesmerized by a blue plush Gumby-like character and his sidekicks Upsy Daisy, Makka Pakka, the Tombliboos, the Pontipines, the Wotingers and the Hahoos... I think. I'm actually rather impressed with myself that I remember them all when I used to secretly snicker, or maybe even feel sorry for other parents who did. But no no, no need for pity, Iggle Piggle rocks because he makes my daughter happy and anything that makes her happy (as any parent would agree) rocks!

We've even bought her the plush toy, ordered it from the UK and then they said they were out and I was crushed - no really I was - but then I found it on e-bay (my first purchase and foray onto e-bay btw) for a reasonable $60. Ouch. Never in my right mind might I ever have considered buying blue plush stuffed material for so much before but then again, I'm no longer in my right mind - I'm a parent. And life now happily includes Iggle Piggle...