A DAY TO REMEMBER!

Yes I admit it, I now join the roster of boasting proud parents but this is a BIG deal!

Today at 10.5 months old our little girl walked for the first time! She took 6 consecutive steps in a row by herself and then repeated the feat back and forth between Mummy and Daddy. It was very exciting and of course, Mummy shed a few tears. Our baby is growing up!

For a few days now, she's been standing for longer periods on her own and then she'd take one or two steps between a table and the couch and we weren't sure this counted as her first official steps yet. But today she let go of the table and off she went. She was so very proud of herself, big smile and she got lots of kisses, hugs and praise. Daddy filmed it with his cell phone, which isn't admittedly the best quality but at least we captured it. Bad bad Mummy and Daddy for having put off buying the new camera with video. Must do this tomorrow.

And now comes the fun part - it's already been interesting trying to keep up with her feats of climbing lately and her turbo crawl but now she'll really be mobile!

Lookout world, Ashiah Phoenix is on the move and we'll be behind her all the way!

Bean pole update

Our squirmy little darling got a clean bill of health today. We now know why everyone says she's so "light". She is on the lower scale for weight (19 pounds) but she's very tall for her age at 79cm or 31.2 inches. This was confirmed when we stopped for coffee after the appointment in Wakefield and she towered over a 14 month old baby boy who was there.

Otherwise she's become very chatty and very very busy. We usually dress her in overalls because she's always climbing through the dirt outside or manages to wear her food. She prefers to eat on her own and doesn't like being fed as much anymore. Loves avocado and new favorite: eggs. And definitely an affinity for sweets, tasted ice cream and went crazy. She hollers loudly now when she wants more food which is a problem in a restaurant now so we tend to stick to busy loud places now. No more romantic candlelit fine cuisine for us!

She still stands on her own for longer periods of time now and will walk around if we hold her hand but not walking on her own yet. I can't imagine how we'll catch her when she does since we have a tough enough time keeping up with her while she crawls - or climbs. Oh yeah, she's a climber. Give her 2 seconds beside stairs or a ladder and she'll be at the top before you know it. Doesn't seem to mind heights or even fast swings, a li'l daredevil. (this she definitely gets from daddy)

Otherwise most people say she looks like mommy but today the doctor said "boy does she ever look like her daddy". I have to tell him this, he'll be very pleased.

Bed time seems to be a bit less of a struggle now in her crib although night before last she woke up shortly after she went down and was very very unhappy. I stood my ground and mommy won that round, however stressful and difficult it was to let her cry. One of many more battles to be won in her lifetime am sure... sigh. I guess this is the meaning to "tough love". And love her we do, more than anything.

My life in a Network Diagram

How is it that you can't wait for one stressful thing to be resolved only to realize that you now have to face another more stressful thing?

I swear to gawd I'm developing an ulcer, or a stomach tumor, or maybe it's irritable bowel syndrome, or maybe it's just another bloody thing to stress about.

So I got the job. Yippee right? Not. I am officially supposed to start in August. But they need me to come in sooner to go through a few things and to teach my first course. Great! I'll make as much money in one day as I would in two weeks on EI. Yippee, right? Wrong.

I'm in over my head. What the hell was I thinking? For the past year my life has been about tending to my baby's needs, dirty dishes, diapers, laundry, floors, running errands, well you get the picture. It has not been about project management - well that is, not in the professional sense. Yes, this is the course I'm slated to teach to 15 unsuspecting students. Can I use motherhood as an example of my project management skills? I can just see myself building a network diagram that outlines tasks to reach milestones, mine being "managed to shower", "showered and brushed my teeth before bed", "ate a warm meal", "ran 3 errands in one day", "had sex", "fit into pre-pregnancy clothes". "Now class, please outline all the tasks involved to reach each of those milestones." I can picture the blank faces now.

Oh and might I add that Ashiah isn't weaned yet - my goal is one year, or 2 weeks before I officially start work- so for now I'll be pumping over the lunch hour which is a better alternative to suddenly leaking milk through my blouse in front of a class of government employees. I can just hear the unsuspecting woman who walks into the washroom and wonders what the vibrating noise coming from one of the stalls is. Nice.

Can you say "aaaaagggggghhhhhh" with me?

A good day

It's been a good day. Best I've had in a long while and might I added, much needed.

Two of my major stresses as of late have been resolved. I've secured a new job - not just any job, but one where I can work part-time as of August and yet make as much income as I would full-time which will allow me to spend more time with my beautiful girl. And I've found a daycare for Ashiah when I do work, an all organic, chemical free daycare nearby in a private home with a lovely woman who has a 14 month old baby who basically looks like a 4 month older version of Ashiah and they get on swimmingly. I'm very happy and feel much more settled now. I can now focus on integrating Ashiah into a new routine and I also get to integrate myself slowly into my new job over the next 2 months since they need me for a day here and there. Smashing.

We went out for a celebratory dinner in Wakefield tonight with my wonderful, most genuine friend Orla and it was lovely...apart from the slow service, it was lovely. We came home and sipped some expensive wine we bought in Sonoma Valley and munched on sweets Orla picked up for us. Ashiah went to bed without too much protest and as I watched her fall asleep I felt blessed to have such a beautiful sweet baby. She's growing up so fast now, stands on her own and even occasionally takes a few steps here and there, I can't believe she'll soon be walking already. She's very vocal now, extremely social and very very busy and already has quite a developed personality complete with likes and dislikes something that amazes me every day. Yesterday I asked her to show me the sheep on the fridge amongst the magnetic animals and she pointed to it. I then told her to push the button and she did. This may seem trivial, but it really was outstanding in my world that my little 10 month old daughter could understand me so completely. Thrilling is not an overstatement.

And lastly Greg and I connected in a way we haven't for some time today just because we've had so much to deal with and it was lovely.

I feel happy and hopeful today. Yes, a good day.

Cinderella - The Sequel

There are 3 words I've come to fear terribly "blocked duct" and "mastitis". I've had BD's about 3 times now and for the past 3 days have had the dreaded M word. It's like having a really bad flu with fever with the added plus of your boob swelling up like a melon so it looks like you have a tumor ('cause there's not enough to stress about of course) and it hurts like hell. This coupled with several other major stressers going on as of late and even my doctor feeling very sorry for me this morning have left me wanting my own mommy for the first time in as long as I can possibly remember.

It's weird how you can at once be grateful for the many blessings in your life like my amazing daughter who lights up our lives with a flash of that incomparable smile, or the love of my partner who is such a great daddy or that my doggie is still alive and well despite his 17 years of life, and truly the list goes on ... and yet at the same time you can at times get so bogged down and find it hard to breathe even; sometimes because of the very blessings you love so much and wouldn't trade for the world? Does that make any sense?

Like how I miss sleep (I think I just heard angels sing as I typed the word) so much, or how I miss not having to be Cinderella all the time (minus of course that bit with the pumpkin, fabulous dress and shoes) although I did of course find Prince Charming... but then of course there should be a sequel called "Sleepy Cinderella gets Mastitis, loses her short term memory and cleans up after mini Princess & Prince Charming for the rest of her life and they live happily ever after until she dies at the age of 35 from sheer exhaustion" - a reality book for children.

Well when all else fails, there's always sarcasm to save the day...or my short term sanity. Here's to you Allie.

The Interview

I have been dreading this day for awhile now, my first interview after such a long reprieve from the workplace. But it went much better than expected. That is, I assume it went very well since they took me around and introduced me to the entire office and said "welcome to the team". Umm, okay "well we're discussing the possibilities" I said and we need to negotiate this but it seems they were pretty interested. If I manage to negotiate this right, I could potentially only have to be away from Ashiah about 2.5 days a week for the most part and the money's decent. This would really be very ideal.

So this initial interview behind me I'm feeling a lot less stressed. I know nothing is set in stone yet but the fact that it went so well helped me feel like although I've been out of touch with things for awhile that there still is more to me than just being a mommy and that felt good. I wore a business suit and heels for the first time in over a year and I guess it's all just like riding a bike. It felt as though my life as Sam had been put on pause and today I pushed play again. So bizarre. But I must admit that I missed my daughter even after only a few hours and was elated to see her beaming face at me in her daddy's arms when I got home.