A Very Good Day

Despite the fact that I have the flu and that Greg is away, I have to say that today turned out to be the BEST  day.

I awoke to kisses and cuddles from Ashiah who was in a very good mood. We got to school on time and for the first time, she didn't cry and was happy to take her teacher's hand and go into class. It was wonderful!

I came home, did some work and then went to bed for several hours to ward off this flu. I awoke to a sun filled room and the silhouette of the trees across a blue sky outside my window. Then my Dad called just to check in and tell me he loves me. I went outside, sat in the garden with my coffee and fed my Chippie Chip (chipmunk) and today he let me pet him. When he was done filling his face, he climbed my back and sat on my shoulder and we enjoyed the swaying flowers in the warm breeze together.

At 4:00 I picked up a very happy little girl who was so proud of her school day. Two of her teachers came to greet me and shared stories of Ashiah's fun filled day and it warmed my heart. We came home and I made a fabulous authentic pasta dish with fresh basil from my garden and Ashiah and I shared an al fresco meal together. As she inhaled her meal, Ashiah came up for air long enough to say "Thank you Mummy for making this yummy pasta supper."

Then the Chippie joined us and a very delighted Ashiah hand fed and pet him and then we jumped and frolicked together on the trampoline awhile. Then we went for a walk to see the chickens up the road - well I walked she sat on my shoulders. We then capped the evening off by sitting on the dock and watching the lightning streak across the sky in the distance over a mirror-like river. Sitting in the stillness and enjoying such beauty with my beautiful daughter filled me with peace and gratitude.

After a bath and talking to Daddy on the phone (he's in Edmonton), we read a story and Ashiah fell asleep without a fuss, but not before I thanked her for having shared such a wonderful day with her. Her response was the best: "Thank you too Mommy, I had a lovely day too. I love you." It doesn't get any better than that.

I am the happiest woman alive tonight.

Funny thing...

Moments that are at once painful can also be filled with joy.

First Day of School

Last Friday marked the end of an era and a new beginning. My baby, well little girl now, started her first day of pre-school. She's 3.

She's in a French Montessori program, a school that costs the equivalent of another mortgage and where hopeful parents who have mulled the decision over carefully have decided that this is indeed the 'best' school around and therefore warrants the cost. Apparently the head of child psychology at an Ottawa University also sends her child there so this must be 'the' place. I simply want her to learn French. If she does, I'll feel I've done my job as a parent, readying her for a promising bilingual future. But is this really the right move? Do we ever really know that we're making 'the' best decisions for our kids?

This investment I must add also buys you about 20 different forms to read and 20 more rules to adhere to: rules about parking, drop-offs and pick-up times, late fees (holy cow don't be 5 mins late!), nut allergies, acceptable lunches, inside clothes and shoes vs outside, sports gear and it goes on. You also must commit to preparing a snack for 19 children one day a month. So really, I feel like we've started school too all over again. I didn't much like it the first time around... so far not quite liking it the second either.

Parents all around us are making different decisions for theirs. Some have decided it's not worth the money, some don't have the money and some have made a conscious decision not to socialize their kids until the standard age of entry to public school. That was me, I was with my Mom till the age of 5 and she had taught me to read and write and count in both English and French by the time I went in as she was a stay-at-home Mom. That said, I was also surrounded by a large religious community and already had tremendous social and presentation skills. I was thinking of all of this as I got up today at a ridiculous (in Sam's world) time.

I dutifully got us up (did I mention much earlier than I think is humane?) this morning and shared breakfast with Ashiah at her kiddy table while we giggled together and cuddled. She picked out her own shirt (she's already at the 'no mummy I don't want to wear that, I don't look pretty' stage) god help us, but the rest went pretty smoothly... that is until it was time to leave with Daddy as it's understood that the parent who has the least trouble leaving their child should drop them during the first week. I finally extricated myself from her at the door as I handed Daddy her Dora lunch box, her favorite shiny black 'indoor' shoes and her water canteen. Daddy explained that they would have to look for 'water monsters' on the way to the car as it's pouring out which peaked her curious interest. I must admit that she looked ever cute in her strawberry covered raincoat and designer rain boots I happened to pick-up for a bargain the other day. But she looked sad and my oh so dutiful parenting suddenly felt pretty shitty.

I called Greg 30 mins later to get the update and sure enough, she ran back out of the school after Greg took her in and then tried a second escape. The teacher brought her in a 3rd time and Greg left as Ashiah kept a sad look on her face. I should point out that we went through this last Friday but when we picked her up, she was the happiest kid, so proud to have gone to school and "I spoke French Mummy!" She related the words she'd learned and the new friends she made and well, that felt much better than this morning...

Things went much smoother when she started daycare at 10 mths old. I'd given myself a month off work to acclimatize her and it took her a day. I cried last Thursday when I picked her up from there for the last time. Her provider, has been like a second mother to her and what more can you hope for when you leave what's most precious to you in someone else's care? Now she's in a class with 4 teachers and 18 other kids. A whole new world for her and for us. We've started school.