Funerals are such dismal affairs. Of course death is sad, I have a tough time with it myself. But why should the ceremony leave you feeling worse than when you arrived? All this sitting and standing, bleakness and repetitive empty words.
My aunt died Friday and I attended the funeral this morning. I arrived as the family was in a separate room, gathered around the open casket with the priest, everyone sobbing to say their final goodbyes. My Dad who'd held it together till then saw me and began crying in my arms. It was hard to see him and my other aunt so overcome - they lost their mother when they were 9 and 6 and my now deceased aunt acted as a surrogate mum to them growing up.
Meanwhile, the rest of the people in attendance sat in a room in silence listening to some extremely depressing organ music. We filed in and the priest began to reminisce about Lois, her life, how she was with children, what a good wife and friend she was. He must have named her about a dozen times, which would have been a really nice touch except that her name is Pauline. Everyone was turning to one another "who's Lois, who's Lois" and finally my other aunt stood up and corrected him. Turns out "father forgetful" had his mind on Lois, the young pretty blond lady who's job is to stand and sing a song during the service. Hmm. This would be the second service in my family where the priest forgets the deceased name.
Thankfully my Aunt Jo stood up and related some cheerful anecdotes to liven things up a bit but I use the word 'liven' loosely. Bloody hell. Why couldn't everyone get together with some upbeat music playing and take turns relating fun stories, and maybe have someone else make note of all the person's accomplishments, legacies, children, grandchildren etc? And why, oh why, do people still insist on viewing an over inflated, extremely made over corpse of the deceased? It's not even them anymore, it's just awful.
I mean our family is after all of Irish descent - Murphy's - pretty Irish eh? and I couldn't help thinking of that song by Great Big Sea:
Oh the night that Paddy Murphy died, is a night I'll never forget
Some of the boys got loaded drunk, and they ain't got sober yet;
As long as a bottle was passed around every man was feelin' gay
O'Leary came with the bagpipes, some music for to play
That's how they showed their respect for Paddy Murphy
That's how they showed their honour and their pride;
They said it was a sin and shame and they winked at one another
And every drink in the place was full the night Pat Murphy died
Now that's gonna be my funeral. And you can play this damn song to liven it up a bit!
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