Mommy Brain

I think the lack of a full night's uninterrupted sleep for 8 months has finally caught up with me.

I'm so tired and forgetful lately it's ridiculous. About a month ago I locked Ashiah and I out of the house in the minus 30 degree cold. A couple weeks ago I locked us out of the house where we were dogsitting in town (to be fair though the wind slammed the door shut and I didn't have the keys on me). But yesterday took the cake.

I went to the post office and Ashiah was asleep in the car so I didn't want to wake her for a 5 minute stop. I parked next to the door, ran in, got a couple envelopes, explained that my daughter was asleep in the car and asked if I could fill them in the car. No problem. Went back to the car, filled my envelopes and went back inside for stamps. As I returned to the car I couldn't locate the keys. That's because I left them in the locked car. And Ashiah woke up.

I can't explain the sheer utter panic that pierced through my body. I tried every window to no avail. I called Greg at home in a panic and told him to come quickly. By now Ashiah's screaming and I want to cry but am keeping it together so she won't be more upset. Two nice ladies stood with me trying to think of ways to help. If you want to meet your fellow town folk there's no better way than to lock your 8mth old in the car at the post office at rush hour. I'll likely make the local paper.

Anyway, one of the nice ladies went to the garage and came back to say someone was on their way. Greg called the post office and explained he couldn't find his keys. I felt so helpless. I knew she was safe and okay but not being able to get to my crying baby was about the worse feeling I've ever experienced in my life. (She's currently very busy pulling every book off of Daddy's bookshelf, very cute.)

In the end the garage guy saved the day, didn't charge me and I wanted to hug him but didn't. I embraced my daughter and shook hands with the nice lady who stood there talking to me trying to keep my mind off my screaming daughter and the trauma was over.

What a spaz I've become. I never used to lose anything - EVER! I'm a klutz, that's for certain, but I never lost anything. I told my girlfriend the story today and she said that since my daughter was napping I needed to go nap as well. She said to just screw the dishes and whatever else I have to get done and sleep when she sleeps. She's right. I feel rested now. Never could I have imagined that this "mommy brain" thing would become such a reality.

I walk into a room and forget why I went in practically once a day. I go to the store to buy something and return home with 10 other things minus the thing I went for. I've started to write everything down now but forget to look at the notes. It's madness. That coupled with poor Greg's ADD leaves me feeling even more neurotic now.

I considered leaving the house this evening. But then decided against it...just in case.