I can't recall the last time I felt this stressed out about most everything in my life like I do right now. There's just so much to be done in the next month I feel nauseous thinking about it.
Finding a new job - and not just any job but one that will pay the right amount for the least amount of time away from Ashiah will not be an easy feat. (I've 2 interviews this week - bleck.) Then finding the right kind of childcare for her that will be flexible with this new job will also be difficult - no, the most difficult decision of my life thus far I think - quadruple bleck! This aside, there are health issues to deal with, financial issues, major household reorganization to be done and one petit a cote is that I will be turning a year older in this incredibly stressful life altering month. bleck bleck bleck
And yet although I am close to being a walking nervous breakdown waiting to happen, I look at my daughter and can't help but feel an instant surge of joy because she is the embodiment of goodness and happiness and warmth and wonder. And despite us all being sick with the flu this weekend, and Greg and I having some serious "mommy & daddy" talks about the many issues we have on our plate, we took time to go outside and enjoy the smells of Spring and we fed the little chippies (chipmunks) who ate out of my hand and raked some leaves and sat in the sun and visited with our fabulous neighbors and shared some family cuddles.
I'm sitting by a very cozy fire now, nestled in a bean bag chair, Ashiah asleep and Greg reading his book on the couch opposite me and despite the gazillion thoughts bouncing around in my head of all the stressful things on my to do list, I still feel very blessed that I get to be stressed about a life that I share with two very extraordinary people that form our family tripod.
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