Babies are so cute, and innocent and cuddly and VIOLENT!
No one told me we'd have a min Jackie Chan on our hands. It's amazing how much pain such a little person can inflict. I mean, forget a "Beware of Dog" sign, how about "Beware of Baby". I mean, if an intruder came in, we could just throw the baby at him and first she could claw him to bits with her baby claws that pose as cute little finger nails. You should see the scratches I have sometimes!
Then she could use her sweet little hands to pinch his skin to bits on his neck, chest and face. For some reason, this is very fun. Then she could use her signature move, the head butt, and break his nose or give him a couple black eyes. I sported a nice dark purple one a couple weeks ago that turned to a lovely green'ish color after awhile - between my black eye and the scratches on my face I was beginning to look like a battered woman. Of course anyone who knows me would laugh at the suggestion - hey I'm French and Irish, I hit back.
And then to top it off she could kick him in the gut and ribs a few times with her karate-like baby kicks that pack a good blow. The poor guy would be so taken aback we'd just have to sock him a good punch to finish him off and voila!
So forget that alarm system, get your 'Sumo Baby 2008' today!
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